i have fat privilege. here's what that looks like
22 reasons to love being fat
I talk a lot about why being fat is hard. Here are 22 reasons why it’s phenomenal:
My body is very comfortable for other people to touch, hug and cuddle. It’s a universal truth that fat bodies are just cozier, I don’t make the rules. But if you are a man, do not tell me I look like I give great hugs. Because if you say this to me, I will not give you a great hug. It will be terrible.
It’s forced me to try really, really hard to find my personal style. The “is it a good outfit or are they just skinny?” trend is around for a reason—everything looks good on thin people. A thin person can wear the jorts and a baggy tee and be called a fashion icon, while a fat person can wear them and be called a slob. My unconventional body has seen many a style (if you remember my belted American Apparel blouse and shiny leggings phase, no you don’t). I’ve had to work OT to not only discover what I like to wear, even if it lives outside of what’s considered appropriate for me to wear, but also figure out where the fuck to get it from.
Getting out of getting on top is easy. Unless you have a longer than average dick, you simply don’t have the gear to reach my personal real estate, and I’m not going to play the cheeky slip n’ slide game. But don’t be fooled, this is not a bad thing for you as I’m an enthusiastic power bottom.
I’m never cold. I actually sold my proper winter coat earlier this year because even in Canadian winters it was too hot for me.
If a zombie apocalypse were to hit, I feel I’d have a good chance of survival, not because I can outrun them (I can’t) but because I have a lot of fat reserves and I’m resourceful with food.
I tend to repel shallow people. I often wonder what kind of person I could’ve already ended up with if I was naturally small or lost weight, and it’s scary. It could be anyone, not even just the people who don’t mind publicly dating a fat person. Scary!!! While I’m not saying getting fat will ensure you end up with a good person, I’m not not saying that.
In the dating game, my body naturally weeds out a lot of shitty people. Some shitty ones slip through the cracks, sure, but a lot of them reveal themselves very quickly. You learn to see the signs: when their dating profile says “I like being active and want a woman who is the same”, when they offer to build me a workout plan or train me for free, when they talk incessantly about my ass or tummy, etc.
I get to be the ⚡️SHOCK FACTOR⚡️ by being visible in spaces made for thin people (the gym, the yoga studio, any Alo store, Reformation’s Yorkville location). While a lot of these spaces have evolved with the body positivity movement, I know I still make a lot of people uncomfortable with just my presence alone. It kind of makes me feel famous. (+10000 aura points if I’m also wearing a really tight outfit that shows off my belly.)
I get to fuck a lot of conventionally hot people if I want to. Contrary to what you might think, all kinds of people want to sleep with me—and especially the beefy boys in the weight room at GoodLife. They are thirsty for us.
When I walk down the street with one of those really hot people, onlookers give us double, even triple, takes. I don’t normally like being perceived, but in this context I don’t mind it. Yes, look at us three times, lady! It’s possible for a hot guy to like me! Take it all in!
I didn’t receive a lot of romantic attention as a young person, which was a little bit of no one wanted to admit they were attracted to me and a little bit of I was too self-conscious to let anyone be. So I had a lot of time to focus on learning how to be a really good friend.
This has also meant that I’ve learned how to care for other people better. I’ve learned how to be sensitive to the ways people like and dislike their bodies being talked about. I’ve learned that fighting for what’s right does not require being liked by the people you’re fighting for. I think I’m a better community member because I’m fat.
I get to be other peoples’ inspiration. Without context, this sounds very self-absorbed, but hear me out. Going to Florida when I was a kid and pre-teen changed my life, and not just because they served me tequila at 14 but also because I saw every single kind of body just out and proud on the beach. Tanned bellies, golden rolls. It allowed me to practice being visible in a bathing suit without shame. Now I get to be that fat woman in a string bikini that maybe helps someone else find the courage, too. I pray some little girl has seen me and felt like accepting their bodies was possible.
I’ve spent a lifetime building a thick skin, pun intended. Things do not affect me quite like they used to. You called me fat? Okaaay… so you have eyes?
Although I spent many of my formative years distracted by how much I hated my body, it also forced me to develop other parts of me. If I couldn’t be pretty, I at least could be hilarious, charming, smart, caring, talented. I’ve had a very clear picture of who I am and what I’m meant to be doing for a while now, and that’s a real privilege.
I’ve had to try really hard to like myself, and it’s lead to realizing that my actual self-worth has nothing to do with what I look like. I’m not sure I would’ve been pushed to get there if it weren’t for my body.
I almost always get to ride shotgun and get the aisle seat.
My core confidence is pretty unshakeable. I’ve done a lot to get to where I am today with myself, and not many things or people or places can knock me off that level.
Because knowledge of my body is often questioned, I’ve learned how to really advocate for myself in many settings, especially the doctor’s office. This skill has been hugely beneficial to me in many areas of my life.
I love that parts of my body touch because they’re fuller. It’s comforting. I think it would feel really odd to have air between my thighs.
Because my thighs touch, I’ve never accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet.
I’ve already lived some peoples’ worst nightmare and survived it. A 2006 survey by Yale University’s Rudd Center found that 46% of participants would rather give up a year of their life than be fat. A YEAR. A lot than happen in a year. For lots of people, getting fat is their biggest fear. So you could say I’m fearless because I’m already living their worst nightmare and doing it (mostly) happily. And that shit is powerful.
FAT STUFF!!!
This episode of This American Life, featuring Lindy West, the author of Shrill
You Just Need to Lose Weight And 19 Other Myths About Fat People by Aubrey Gordon
Sonya Renee Taylor performing her poem “The Body Is Not an Apology” (which inspired her incredible book by the same name)
The podcast Fat Joy with Sophia Apostol (and her Substack!)
This song:
I laughed, I cried, this was perfection.
absolutely obsessed with this and you! 🤍